/u/[deleted]'s posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

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As I was taking my clothes out of the washing machine, I stupidly managed to get both of my arms stuck in there.

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The moaning keeps me awake at night. NSFW

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As the attacker swung their blade down onto my arm, I was ready to see blood and be immense pain..

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As the attacker swung their blade down onto my arm, I screamed, expecting to see blood and be in immense pain..

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I am extremely disappointed. NSFW

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“You’ll love our support group for misanthropes!”

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My brother fucked my girlfriend

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Ugh, this is like the third time they’ve called today, ignore!

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I died for 26 minutes.

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We think that it’s sex that we want, but really what we crave is intimacy, closeness, and love.

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
As I was taking my clothes out of the washing machine, I stupidly managed to get both of my arms stuck in there.	1
The moaning keeps me awake at night. NSFW	1
As the attacker swung their blade down onto my arm, I was ready to see blood and be immense pain..	1
As the attacker swung their blade down onto my arm, I screamed, expecting to see blood and be in immense pain..	1
I am extremely disappointed. NSFW	1
“You’ll love our support group for misanthropes!”	1
My brother fucked my girlfriend	1
Ugh, this is like the third time they’ve called today, ignore!	1
I died for 26 minutes.	1
We think that it’s sex that we want, but really what we crave is intimacy, closeness, and love.	1